英语中的平行句怎么写(初学英语写作,如何使用好平行结构)

本站作者 2023-09-02 01:03:00

英语中的平行句怎么写

Parallel Structure in Use

写作的终极目的是把作者的所思所想通过文字呈现,与读者进行交流。好文读起来“行云流水”(英语里叫做fluid),不需要反复回到前文去推敲、求证。这样的话,读者就更容易理解文章的意思,并与之产生共鸣。因此,无论什么文体、语言的写作,最根本需要注意的是如何帮助读者理解 (aid your reader)。这些读者,在“烤”试的语境中,就是评分官。无论是托福、雅思、SAT、ACT、GRE……,还是大学里要交的作业、报告、论文等等,评分者都十分看重文章的"Unity and Coherence"。

实现"Unity and Coherence"的办法有不少:

i. 有效组织段落:

- 可以按照时间/空间顺序(针对一些考试口语题要求讲述/描述某事、物、人等,我推荐用这样的逻辑组织);

- 可以按照总-分-总的结构组织每个论证段落,以及全文(立论、说明、报告、驳论等文章);

- 可以把文章最深刻、最新奇、最有力的论证段落放到最后,期待一种“高潮效果”;

ii.使用Parallel Structure(平行结构)帮助读者理解、提示文章脉络,并有效体现呼应;

iii. 关键词、意义通过重复和重述,在文章重要位置反复呈现;

iv. 积极使用代词;

v. 语法上全文保持时态、数量和人称的统一;

vi. 使用连接工具——许多写作老师都很强调这一点。然而,需要注意的是,它仅仅是体现文章“一脉相承”的一种手段,无法仅靠大量背诵并机械应用(模板)连接工具达到理想的成绩;

vii. 使用标点符号有效连接句子的组成部分。

今天我们聚焦"Parallel Structure":一种大家或许有所耳闻,但实际应用上需要小心把握的写作技法。

什么叫做“平行结构”?

"...parallelism, the use of similar grammatical structures for similar elements of meaning within a sentence or among sentences..."

H. Ramsey Flower·Jane E. Aaron,

The Little, Brown Handbook, Thirteenth Edition, Pearson

用著名作家William Strunk, JR.的话,就是相关联的观点用相类似的结构呈现(express coordinate ideas in similar form)。这是因为语法结构上的相似性,使得读者更轻松理解语句的内容和论证功能的相似度,也就是说这种结构能够有效aid the reader。在被誉为“英语写作入门必读”的The Elements of Style(William Zinsser称赞这本书为"a book every writer should read once a year")里,作者提出了一个初学者常犯的错误:

"The unskillful writer often violates this principle (指"parallel structure"), from a mistaken belief that he should constantly vary the form of his expressions."

许多“烤”生对此也有深深的疑惑:老师一边要求我在文章中体现句子的多样性,一边又要求我相关联的内容用相类似的结构体现。那么究竟要我怎样写呢?

答案是:博采众长,融会贯通。这要求在写作过程中综合应用所有能体现自己语言功底 (the control of language),以及论证逻辑的工具。不能过分依赖任意一两种,也不要胡乱尝试并没有很好理解掌握的工具。一篇好的文章往往融会贯通了:高明的章法 (sensible organization)、平行结构 (parallelism)、重复 (repetition)、指代 (pronouns)、时态/语态/人称/数的统一 (consistency)以及连接工具 (transitional expressions)等方方面面。所以,在该体现句型多样性的时候还是要体现的。下面看一段例子:

I find young people exciting. They have an air of freedom, and they have not a dreary commitment to mean ambitions or love of comfort. They are not anxious social climbers, and they have no devotion to material things. All this seems to me to link them with life, and the origins of things. It's as if they were(虚拟), in some sense, cosmic beings in violent and lovely contrast with us suburban creatures. All that is in my mind when I meet a young person. He may be conceited, ill-mannered, presumptuous or fatuous, but I do not turn for protection to dreary clichés about respect for elders--as if mere age were a reason for respect. I accept that we are equals, and I will argue with him, as an equal, if I think he is wrong.

Fielden Hughes from Out of the Air, The Listener

这个短短138个字的段落,结合了简单句、并列句、复合句、虚拟语气等多种句子组织的方式,并且很好地用长短句搭配的方法体现了行文的节奏和韵律。同时也使用了轻快的平行结构和重复,帮助减轻读者理解的压力。内容上看,讨论的话题深远有意义。从赞赏年轻人的特点,推进到这些特点跟那些迂腐守旧的年长者的对比,进一步谈到年轻人的不足,最后笔锋一转切入“无关年龄,平等讨论”这个点,回扣了主题句的exciting这个词,也体现了作者作为一个长者的智慧。可见,所谓好文章,必定是建立在各种要素有机、均衡的共同呈现之上的。写作切忌片面重视某些要素,而忽略了整体的有机平衡。

如何写出正确的“平行结构”?

平行结构可以体现在句子里,也可以体现在段落间。句子中的平行结构相对好把握,适合我们学习。最基本的一条是:冠词或者介词所带的所有词(组),要么前面只用一次,后面全部承前省略,要么在每一个词(组)前都写上这个冠词或介词。比如:

错:in spring, summer, or in winter

对:in spring, summer, or winter (in spring, in summer, or in winter)

both, and; not, but; not only, but also; either, or; first, second, third; whether, or; rather than等。比如:

错:It was both a long ceremony and very tedious.

对:The ceremony was both long and tedious.

错:A time not for words, but action.

对:A time not for words, but for action.

错:Either you must grant his request or incur his ill will.

对:You must either grant his request or incur his ill will.

错:My objections are, first, the injustice of the measure; second, that it is unconstitutional.

对:My objections are, first, that the measure is unjust; second, that it is unconstitutional.

错:The study found that most welfare recipients wanted to work rather than handouts.

对:The study found that most welfare recipients wanted work rather than handouts.

对:The study found that most welfare recipients wanted to work rather than to accept handouts.

错:In 1988 a Greek cyclist broke the world's record for human flight neither with a boost nor a motor.

对:In1988 a Greek cyclist broke the world's record for human flight with neither a boost nor a motor.

错:Whether to live a rich life or to die rich is a question.

对:Whether to live rich or to die rich is a question.

在应用的过程中,需要避免刻意、僵化的表达:平行结构并不是要求我们在英语写作中写成汉语古体诗的那样逐字“对仗”。比如:

The pioneers passed through the town and into the vast, unpopulated desert.

就是一句很好的平行结构。

事实上,英语美文中平行结构使用频繁,玲琅满目。它们有效帮助作者铺陈、推进自己的观点,同时有效帮助读者理解、共鸣:

Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood.

William Shakespeare

Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way... you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions.

Aristotle

平时写作练习的时候,应该注意的要点:

1. 平行结构的精华在于:形式上相似,但意义上推进。千万不要把平行结构写成同义反复;

2. 严格遵守语法规范;

3. 广泛阅读,大胆仿写。既不能胡乱凭汉语的语法规则制定自己的“平行结构”规则,也不要因为它在形式上的相似性,把这种写作利器误认为是stiff repetition,而不去使用。

在本文的末尾,我给出了一篇托福的满分作文(选自Writing for the TOEFL iBT, 5th Edition, Barron's)。这篇文章之所以能拿满分,我归纳下来有如下特点可以供大家学习:

1. 选词平实,全篇没有出现高中以外的词汇;造句流畅,大胆使用动词词组表达意义,虽然略显稚嫩,但是没有影响意义的传递。初写英语文章,一定要避免刻意追求字词和语法结构的“高级”,从而导致不知所云的问题。

2. 段落组织很好体现逻辑推进。

首段直接切入论题:提出了家长可以作为好老师的三个角度——情感联系;兴趣分享;价值传递。然后让步转折,明确提出自己的观点:即使这样重要,依然不总是最好的老师。

论证的三段主体段落,分别按照顺序,从开头段提出的三个角度去进行论证。注意,本文三个分论点段落完全没有进行让步写作,而是直接支持自己的观点:“不总是”。为什么可以这样做呢?因为首段已经完成了让步的任务。这是这篇文章既可以直抒胸臆,“一边倒”地说自己支持的观点,又不显得偏激、绝对的原因。

同时,请注意“情感联系;兴趣分享;价值传递”这三个分论点,在呈现的时候:1)严格按照首段的顺序出现,体现了前后呼应;2)它们之间排列的顺序,也有一个从“由浅入深”的推向高潮的逻辑呈现。

本文的尾段也是亮点。尾段重新回望了首段的主旨以后,回复了这个论题一个悬而未决的问题:如果家长不总是好老师,那么谁是呢?——这样的问题,我们生活中肯定会经常发生:你说你爱的不是我的容颜,不是我的财富,也不是我的地位,那么你究竟爱的是我的什么呢?——在结尾段能够有意识回答这个问题,体现了作者全文逻辑的完整性。

3. 第三段的平行结构也为文章的流畅说理增色不少。

Another problem is that parents sometimes expect their children's interests to be similar to their own. If the parents love science, they may try to force their child to love science too. But what if the child prefers art? If the parents enjoy sports, they may expect their child to participate on different teams. But what if the child prefers to read?

然而,本文有一处失败的平行结构,我摘录在这里。你能看出问题在哪里吗?

A student who has friends of different races at school may find that his parents have narrower views. A student who loves computers may find that her parents don't understand or value the digital revolution.

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