描写游泳的句子生动形象 如何描写溺水的恐惧才能更生动形象

（之前凌晨自噩梦惊醒，腻了满身惊汗，匆促地写下这首不甚像样的诗；写的时候想着普拉斯小说里那段“躺在澡盆里，眼看红色的花朵从我手腕冒出来，一朵一朵渗入清水，直到我沉沉睡去，在鲜红宛若罂粟花的水波涟漪之下”。裁纸刀握在手掌里，好费劲才遏制住割腕的欲望，因为看着镜子里的面容太蠢笨了，下不去手）I have thought it over whether a topic like this would thrust me in a less favorable condition in the try. Presumably, I believe in the puissance of poetry in conveying those moments in life that you wouldn’t forgo or even change or shape you, no matter it’s a snippet that soothes or titillates or saddens or staggers.我考虑过这样的话题是否会置我（在尝试中）于不甚有利的境况。或许诗歌的力量在于阐述生命中那些你不能弃置，甚至改变或塑造你的时刻，不管它是抚慰、撩拨、戳伤或使你震颤的片段。

Drowning 溺毙

It was the drowning in my dream: 那是我梦中的覆溺

In a blithe whirl, 在一个欣愉的旋转里

The loitering swish, 晃荡的嗖嗖声

Swaddled with darkness, 被黝黑包裹着

Surged into a cavernous death. 突然坠入死亡的渊薮

The perjured act of submergence: 虚矫的淹没行为

could startle time from solitude, 从孤独中惊醒凝滞的时间

pulverizing decades in your gloom 凄凉和碎裂的最后数秒

of forlorn and fractured final seconds. 在你的忧郁里将曩昔（几十年）彻底粉碎

Wouldn’t the past flush upon: 往事难遏止地涌上心头

a covert you up on a pony in a comic hat, 你隐藏在一匹戴着滑稽帽子的骡马上

a carousel chase of laughter, 欢声笑语

The snarled and yelping seas, 海域汹涌咆哮

The bold anfractuous rocks 岩石岸遒劲而蜿蜒

As you plunge under, 当你纵身跳入水中

it will probably be a fish or verdure; 它可能是青鱼或葱翠的草木

Heaving the cutlass, 举起弯镰刀

A nimble blur of silver dashed ashore, 一团状银光猛砸着海岸

walloping the hem of sterile riverbed. 痛鞭贫瘠河床的边缘

The ebb will abduct you, 潮退去会绑缚你

or the shriek will ensnare you. 否则嚎叫声会诱捕你

As you plummet toward the weed, 当你一头栽向野草

Groaning with continual surge 随浪涌急遽地喘息

Thrusting through the insurgent gales of the past 猛刺破过往暴乱的狂风

the surface, the veneer, now with whirlwind canopy swarming over. 那镶板般的海面，如今挤满旋风般蜂拥而至的树冠

It was the drowning in my dream: 那是我梦中的覆溺

a blithe whirl 欣愉的旋转

a loitering swish 晃荡的嗖嗖声

that wakes me up, （如巨手掌）把我掐醒了

clawing at the pillowslip, 用手爪撕扯枕套

And sinks, 然后下沉

to nothingness. 入虚无

友人建议将最后一行改成to the void。遁入虚无也很棒，但void有空隙、缝隙的意思，偏具象了；我想从前面的场景描摹中剥离出来，营造余音绕梁的氛围，遂没有更多地裁削。其实碰这类死亡气氛浓郁的话题还是有些犹疑的，小时候学游泳总有被绵柔纱布封裹的窒息感，呛水了整个人便成拧紧的喷嘴，声调给拉扯变形，心脏弹跳数次才侧旋开喘息的闸门；又逢我常用却不很欢喜的苍黯基调，写得战战兢兢的，不甚舒服。